Introducing...

I know I don't update this blog very often, but my current reason for not being on is that I was busy having a baby!

Eleanor Isabella was born Wednesday, January 25, at 10:03am.  Six pounds, two ounces, and 19 inches of perfection and sheer cuteness!  Eleanor is already such a love.  More updates to follow!

Nesting

First, an updated belly photo at almost 38 weeks:

I remember hearing a lot about the "nesting" instinct, a.k.a, when a pregnant woman obsessively prepares for childbirth by getting the house ready for the baby.  I heard it can manifest itself in bizarre ways, from obsessive cleaning with only a toothbrush or organizing and reorganizing the silverware.  A few weeks ago, I was paranoid that since I wasn't nesting (a.k.a. obsessively preparing my house), that it meant I wasn't ready or prepared to be a mom.  I was worried there was something truly wrong.
And then I got on a laundry kick.  Suddenly, all baby clothes and baby paraphernalia needed to be laundered and folded immediately.  If she was going to touch it, it needed to be washed.  I panicked when I saw that one of her lovey blankets was instructed to be spot cleaned only, and should never be emerged in water.  Turning to my husband for solace and advice, he told me to calm down and not worry about it -- the baby would survive.  And four loads of laundry later, I felt quite accomplished, until I realized I had forgotten to wash her changing pad cover.  Dang.  Now, I'm terrified I'm turning into one of those hovering, panicked mothers I swore I'd never be.  Or, I'm just letting my primal instinct take over.
The next episode of nesting manifested itself in making sure my pantry and house were stocked with essential items, a.k.a hoarding.  I just HAD to have enough toilet paper (I think we have over forty rolls of Charmin in the house right now), and I was hellbent on ensuring we had plenty toothpaste, shampoo, and face wash to last through the Apocalypse.  The cats need food -- $120 later at Petco, I was finally satisfied that we just might make it through and the cats wouldn't starve.  And I purchased the largest bottle of olive oil made in the Western world.
My last phase of "nesting" has been stocking the house with enough food.  I wanted to make sure we have plenty of healthy options to eat in the house so I'm not tempted to order pizza every night for the first few weeks of our daughter's life.  Recently, I've made butternut squash soup, meatballs and sauce, and a beef stew.  I ran to the grocery store to stalk up on frozen fruits and vegetables, constantly questioning if I had enough.  I started buying snacks of nuts, dried fruit, Larabars, and Clif Bars (full of junk, but at least they keep in the pantry and are cheaper than Larabars), although I now need to go out and purchase more dried fruit and nuts (it never ends!).  Here's the end result:

I realize that yes, we will have to go to the grocery store once she's here, but at least it's a start.
So, my nesting instinct has started to kick into full gear, and we have the essentials for her once she comes: outfits, diapers, wipes, blankets, bassinet, and a pack 'n play.  I'm realizing that I'll never fully be prepared for the change that's about it come, and I'm trying to be mindful of the fact that she doesn't need a whole lot of stuff to be a healthy, well cared for newborn.  And after all that cooking, I think it's time for bed.  And who knows -- maybe I will grab that toothbrush soon.

Quick Updates

Primal update: the week started out strong, but hit a huge blip over the weekend, mostly from going out to get food in social settings, which lead me to eat greasy pizza, lots of rice, and some bread.  I'm looking forward to putting the weekend behind me and getting in protein and veggies tomorrow.  The pantry is clear of any non-primal food, with the exception of the sugar that I kept (even though I rarely use sugar, I just didn't know how to part with it for some twisted reason).  The crackers and pasta are completely gone, because I knew if I had them around once baby made her appearance, I would eat them like they were going out of style.  I also have plenty of almonds, almond butter, almond meal, coconut flour, and coconut oil.  I just need to figure out how to incorporate the coconut into my diet, as it's something I've rarely used before.
On the plus side, I've given up my addictive granola habit cold turkey, and I'm quite pleased!  And I haven't made myself hot chocolate in over a week.  Minor victories!  In a way, I feel like I'm relearning my primal ways.  I slowly eliminated foods before, and I feel like that's the same route I'm taking now.  Hopefully this upcoming week will be easier.

CrossFit update:
I've been getting a lot of pelvic pain from this child recently.  It usually happens when I stand up from a seated position, and disappears pretty quickly.  But on Friday at my box, as we were warming up with air squats before our WOD, it came back with a vengeance.  I was perplexed.  I had just back squatted 100 x 10 a few days ago and felt fine.  Why would air squats bother me?  I sat down for a few minutes until it subsided, and decided I would continue with the strength portion of our WOD (which for me, was push jerks).  I ended up at 85 x 2, which felt like a comfortable weight -- not heavy, but high enough that I didn't feel like going any further.  So, I took a quick trip to the bathroom, and the pain returned again.  And it just wouldn't go away.  My fellow CrossFitters and coach knew there was something wrong by the look on my face, and we all agreed that I should sit the WOD out.  So, I acted as cheerleader, kept track of scores, and called my midwife.  She said the pain was nothing out of the ordinary, but it seemed like I was pushing myself too hard, so she told me to park myself on the couch for the rest of the day, drink water, and take it easy this weekend.  I have an appointment tomorrow, so I'm hoping I'll be cleared for some exercise; perhaps some "CrossFit Lite."  Worst case scenario, I hope I can at least go for walks!  We'll see what this peanut lets me do.

Baby update:  The nesting instinct is kicking in high gear.  I'll write more about this next time, but I've been obsessed with cooking and freezing food (so far, I've made almost five pounds of paleo meatballs and spaghetti squash), and I had a burning need to make sure we had plenty of soap, toilet paper, and frozen veggies in the house.  I've done three loads of baby laundry and still have more to go.  This week, I'm hoping to make a paleo stew and butternut squash soup to freeze, and the car seat base is in the car.  Slowly, things are falling into place, but I'm hitting the anxious stage. Time's a-ticking away!  I'm so hyped up, this "take it easy" thing is kind of frustrating.

Question: are there any laundry detergent alternatives to Dreft?  It's just so expensive, and I don't know if it's really a necessary expense.  Are there other products out there?

Back to Primal

My biggest regret of my pregnancy was how quickly and easily I abandoned my primal eating habits.  (Check out Mark's Daily Apple for more information about a primal lifestyle).  It was a slippery downward slide.  During my first trimester, I didn't gain any weight and easily fell into the "I'm pregnant, so I can eat whatever I want!" mindset.  I never had morning sickness or any real food aversions, and I gave into those sugar cravings.  Those around me kept on commenting on my tiny size, and I constantly heard about how pregnancy was the time in my life to embrace eating whatever I wanted to.  I lost a lot of will power, and I gave in.  Big mistake.  And the holiday season has only exacerbated the problem.

While I realize my eating habits are probably healthier than most, I miss primal eating.  I'm currently struggling through another cold and have had my fair share of GI problems since slipping on my primal principles.  I should iterate here, that while eating primal last year, I never really got sick and I was able to ditch my Allegra and survive the spring allergy season much easier than in the past.  I'm convinced that clean eating boosts our immune system and I'm certain that CrossFitting and healthy eating habits allowed me to easily get pregnant.

So now, it's time for me to get back to it, stop making excuses, and take back control of all my dietary choices.  It will only be harder to stay on track once the baby's here, so there's no time like the present, right?
To get back on track, I'm doing the following:
1. Cleaning out our pantry and ditching toxic foods.
2. Throwing out all the Christmas cookies we were given as gifts.
3. Enlisting my husband's support to hold me accountable.
4. Making primal meals and freezing them for when the baby comes (more on this later).
5.  Creating food menus of primal foods that I love, and buying in season foods, which just taste better.
6.  Focusing on being healthy for labor and delivery.  This is a huge motivating factor to help me get back on track.  And I hope that primal eating and continuing with some exercise will help me bounce back from labor even faster.

I wouldn't necessarily call this my "New Year's Resolution," since I don't really believe in those, but it's a pretty convenient time to make some positive changes.  Any positive changes that you are committed to making in 2012?

A step back

My ankle is coming along, although it still has a ways to go.  I decided to see my general practitioner on Friday to seek her counsel on my ankle.  She told me I could ditch the crutches, encouraged me to walk on it, but also said I needed to keep it elevated with ice at night and the air cast while I sleep.  It's been immensely liberating being off crutches, and I'm grateful to keep on healing.  Hopefully the soreness will fade soon, and I'll be back to my old self.
It's been quite an experience to have an injury in my third trimester.  While I miss my energy and my "go-go-go" ability, there is something slightly liberating about being forced to be on the couch with my feet up.  At night, I get to stare at our Christmas tree, listen to Christmas music or watch some television, and just be at peace, enjoying the calm and quiet.  I've also taken baths instead of showers lately, and there's nothing quite like soaking in warm water with lavender bath salts and sometimes getting the treat of seeing my lil' peanut wiggle and squirm.  At such a busy time of year, I've been able to find a sense of calm.  With just over four weeks until I'm full term and a little more than seven weeks to go, I'll embrace slowing down, centering myself, and getting ready for this one to make her entrance into the world.  With that said, I do hope to get back to some very modified workouts next week.  But for now, I'll take a good book, my cats, and a quiet evening.

Ankle follow up

On Monday, I went to see one of my midwives who made me laugh as I recounted our ER story.  She was particularly disgusted with the ER nurse who couldn't find the baby's heartbeat and exclaimed in exasperation, "you should have yelled at her that you wanted a new, competent nurse!"  I appreciated her candor.
What was hard to hear, however, is that she thinks the sprain will take a long time to heal.  Since I can't take any anti-inflammatory medication because of the pregnancy, I won't have medication to help me speed up the healing process.  She wants me to take it easy and to take my time.  "That means no aerobics," she sternly decreed.  OK, aerobics is not CrossFit, but point taken.  My hope is that in a couple weeks I can get back to CF to work on some upper body strength and to see my friends and coaches -- and just get out of the house.  But my dream of being the awesome CrossFitting pregnant momma who would WOD up until labor has been shattered, so I have to adjust to slowing down.

So on that note, anyone have any good movies/TV shows on Netflix/books to recommend?  I'm currently finishing up "Animal, Vegetable Miracle" and I got to read a lot of the New York Times on Sunday.  I guess I might as well embrace my mandatory couch "stay-cation!"

And random side note: I never realized how hard it was to use crutches.  Between the crutches and my belly, balance is quite challenging these days!

Slow down, you move too fast...

As a pregnant, CrossFitting mama to be, I sometimes feel pretty invincible.  Up until two weeks ago, I was still doing 20 inch box jumps and only switched to step ups at the request of one of the coaches.  I still use the barbell (albeit lighter weights and I'll take oly lifts from the hang, not the floor).  And I get pretty awesome pictures taken that look like this:

This is 29 weeks, practicing my snatch balance.  I mean, if I can still work on snatch balances and overhead squats, I've got to be pretty stable, right?  I despise taking help from people who feel like I can't complete simple tasks like carrying a bag of groceries because I'm pregnant.  I pooh-poohed all talk of how my center of gravity is shifting, because honestly, I never felt that my body was changing like that.  Just because my belly is expanded doesn't mean my balance is off.  I'm a strong girl, and a shifting center of gravity clearly didn't apply to me.

Until I tripped and fell right in my own house, slammed my stomach into the ground and somehow landed on my right ankle on Saturday night.  I don't remember that much about my tumble, other then it hurt.  The pain in my right ankle was so shocking, it took me a long time to realize that I also hit my stomach.  It took some cajoling to convince me to go to the ER -- I didn't want to be that pregnant woman who panicked over a fall, but what if something was truly wrong?  I didn't want to take a risk, and my lovely husband coaxed me into the car to head to the hospital.

And that's when I started crying.  I strive not to be the paranoid, over-analytical/hysterical pregnant lady, but the mere thought that my own stupidity could harm my little one was alarming and overwhelming.  Once we got to the ER and my husband wheeled me in (far more anti-climatic than I would have anticipated; I can safely say there's nothing enjoyable about being wheeled around in a wheelchair), it was obvious that the ER was a bit overwhelmed to have a pregnant woman to treat.  The hospital didn't have a maternity ward, and the nurse was nervous about finding the baby's heartbeat and kept trying to tell me that if she couldn't hear it, it didn't mean that it wasn't there.  In the meantime, I sat there sobbing and apologizing for my blubbering nature.  Finally, another nurse found the heartbeat, and eventually, my little one decided to move for me and say hello.  Reassuring.  (She's a good girl).

The doctor had to convince me to get my foot x-rayed as I was nervous about having any radiation near my body.  (At first, he was determined there was a break, and when there wasn't, he claimed that he had always known it was a sprain.  Hmm).  I was told to stay off my foot, and hopefully all would be well within a week. They gave me Tylenol and told me that they were going to send me to another hospital to have the baby monitored and to make sure I didn't start having contractions.  I was given an air cast for my sprain and then waited an hour and a half to be discharged.  I don't know if they forgot about me or what, but it was clearly a slow night, and I was annoyed, bored, and hungry.

When my husband and I got to the second hospital, the ER seemed confused about what to do with me, but the receptionist finally called up to Labor and Delivery, and thus all was right with the world.  "Where have you been?  We've been waiting for you!" the nurses and doctor on call all exclaimed, and I was whisked into a very nice birthing room (although the television reception was iffy), and was told that I would be hooked up to two monitors -- one to record her heartbeat and one to check and see if I was having contractions.  A doctor came in and did an ultrasound to check my placenta, but my husband and I got to see our beautiful little girl.  While I don't believe in having too much medical intervention, it was so wonderful to see that she was there, moving around, seemingly content (although that's me projecting my own feelings onto our baby, but clearly I'm allowed to).  I asked the doctor to reconfirm her gender, and yes, my daughter was spread eagle, clearly a girl.  Seeing her legs, I'm convinced she has my chunky thighs and will obviously be able to squat 200 pounds by her tenth birthday.  The best part, though, was that a medical student was shadowing the doctor, and the doctor pointed out to him that our girl was practicing breathing on her own.  And I could see it.  I started crying all over again, so comforted in the fact that if something did happen, and I sudden went into preterm labor, she'd be able to breathe.

How amazing is it that the hospital bed controls show a pregnant body!!!!!  I totally got a kick out of it and decided it was a photo worthy moment.

And it was a long four hours that I sat in a hospital bed.  One nurse sat with me while my husband ran out to buy us dinner, and I learned that she actually works full time at the hospital where I'll be delivering.  She was charming, sweet, and lovely, and I know that the baby and I will be in good hands in ten (give or take) weeks!  And thankfully, the baby's heartbeat was wonderful, I never had a contraction, and at midnight, the nurse bid me farewell ("Good-bye, Cinderella!") to then notice that I had never received crutches from the first hospital.  So, the nurse tracked down a pair, walked us out, and sent us on our merry way.  The whole ordeal lasted over eight hours and it was so nice to finally make it home.

Perhaps the most difficult part of the evening, though, was hearing another woman in labor.  It sounded somewhat inhuman, primitive, miserable.  My husband squeezed my hand while I sat in horror, wondering how I'd be able to handle it.  I later found out from the doctor on call that it was a very difficult, very pre-term labor.  Of course, she couldn't provide any details, and a million thoughts raced through my brain.  I felt so unbelievable lucky that my little one was safe, and so saddened that another one is not.  There's so much out of our control with pregnancy, and while I'm generally very accepting of it, it's hard not to worry or be concerned.  

So, I have to stay off my ankle, and it's off to the midwives tomorrow.  That means no CrossFitting any time soon, and I'm forced to take a step back and slow down.  (It was fun for a couple hours; now I find it grating).  But, I'm learning that I need to be a bit more accepting of my body's limitations while still being in awe of what it can do (like grow a really amazing person).  Right now, I'm just trying to enjoy her movement and I love when I can actually feel and see her moving -- so bizarre, but so awesome!  And maybe, perhaps, this is my body's way of forcing me to slow down.  I think this time, I'll actually listen (at least for the next few days).