CrossFit After Baby

In my third trimester, I had so many fantasies about returning to CrossFit after giving birth.  I assumed that I would bounce back quickly, waltz right into Charles River CrossFit, and be able to do everything I had done before I got pregnant.  Heck, I had even WODed a few days before I went into labor, so clearly it was going to be a cakewalk back into it!  I felt set up for a successful re-entry and looked forward to being "that girl" who went to the gym two weeks post-partum and magically had amazing kipping pull-ups and could Rx every WOD.

Oh man, reality can be tough to swallow.  I never realized the physical toll that birth would take on my body, how difficult the sleep deprivation would be, and that I would struggle with breastfeeding and it would make my transition to motherhood a difficult one.  I was desperate to get out of the house, regain strength, and feel like a human being again.   My first WOD at five weeks post-partum was very, very rough.  It involved snatches and double unders, the sworn enemies of a woman who's just had a baby.  My snatch form was horrendous.  I was sore, exhausted, and defeated.  My bubble quickly burst, and I slowly began to understand that my re-entry into CrossFit would not go as seamlessly as I had hoped.
Six months post-partum, CrossFit is getting easier, but I still have a ways to go.  At my box, I've watched people who started CrossFit after me run circles around me during WODs, and I've found myself very emphatically declaring "I just had a baby!" to save face.  Here are a few things I've realized so far:

My endurance was the first to go while pregnant and is the slowest to come back;
My strength has returned with a vengeance but;
My form has suffered on olympic lifts, so I'm not always lifting to my potential;
My sprained ankle still hasn't healed;
Returning to CrossFit after having Eleanor was much harder than I thought it would be.

But in the past five months since I've been back, there has been progress.  I'm Rxing more WODs and I've had some PRs (250 pound deadlift and 190 pound back squat for a six RM).  I'm fitting into more of my pre-pregnancy clothes.  I have greater hope that I'll see my abs again one day (although those moments are fleeting).  I miss my old body, but I'm optimistic that I'll eventually feel more comfortable in my own skin.

There are days when I feel unstoppable and think to myself "I can't believe I had a baby only six months ago!  I rock!" and there are days when I think "it's been six months.  Why is (insert exercise here) still so hard?"  But I have to remind myself that my exercise career has been a limited one.  Other than a mile jog here or an hour on the elliptical there, I didn't start seriously exercising until July of 2010 and I started CrossFit full time in January of 2011.  I got pregnant May of 2011.  I only had four months of CrossFitting before my little Peanut started cooking, and I can't expect that I would be at the same fitness level as someone who has been physically active her entire life.  I'm also carrying around some additional baby weight, which is (very slowly) making its way off.

Thankfully, I've had an amazing support system in my husband, who always makes sure that I get to my box at least three days a week, and in the members of my box, who cheer me on and remind me of my progress so far.

I present this post this way because I think it's easy to see other pregnant CrossFitters and assume (or hope) that you'll be like them.  But regardless of who you are, adjusting to your body after a baby is just that -- an adjustment.   I've had to alter my expectations, which isn't always easy, while reminding myself of my accomplishments (mainly, making it to the box and putting forth my best effort in WODs).  I'm so grateful for CrossFit -- it's been a wonderful outlet and it makes me feel good about myself.  And above all, I want to be a role model for my daughter and I hope that she admires strength and athleticism in women.

In the next few weeks and months, I want to talk more about CrossFit after baby.  So, tell me what you'd like to know about the transition to post-partum CrossFit!

 Eleanor at five months.  She loves playing with her pacifier and putting it in her mouth -- even upside down.  :)

Breast is best... right?

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed.  All the research I had done on breastfeeding said it would be beneficial to both myself and Eleanor, and while I had heard it was difficult, I didn't think much of it.  My husband and I took a breastfeeding class at a local parenting center, and I assumed that I couldn't really prepare for it.  After reading this post, I decided that my safest bet was to hire a lactation consultant after Eleanor was born.
Our early breastfeeding experience was a disaster.  I went through a reputable parenting agency to find a certified lactation consultant after Eleanor arrived, but this woman was awful.  After two visits to our house, $700 later, this LC put me on the fast track to formula.  I could hash out why she was a disaster, but that would turn into a much longer post.  Let me just say that she was abrasive and taught me a very difficult way of latching Eleanor that felt unnatural and led to cracked and bleeding nipples, blisters, and yeast.  I was in immense pain.  Even though Eleanor was a champion latcher, I never managed to get her properly latched with the consultant's "method."  Part of her fee included phone time, but every time I called her, nearly in tears, she would rush me off the phone, and even once asked me why I thought breastfeeding was so hard.
Adding fuel to the fire was the fact that Eleanor was a very sleepy baby and hard to rouse to eat.  The LC insisted I not wake her, and Eleanor ended up gaining only two ounces her first two weeks. (Note to parents -- wake a sleeping baby if they need to eat!)  This put our pediatrician on high alert and led to frequent weight checks.  Our pediatrician was very pro-formula, and wanted me to get Eleanor on a "routine" early, so she was disturbed by the fact that Eleanor could take up to an hour to eat and decided that I wasn't feeding her correctly.  She made incorrect assumptions about my milk supply.  She also wanted Eleanor gaining lots of weight -- something that even breastmilk and formula couldn't accomplish.  She berated me in her office.  It was a miserable experience.
Even with the huge roadblocks I had in my early weeks, I desperately wanted to continue breastfeeding.  I don't think I can adequately describe how important it was to me.  I loved the closeness, the snuggling, the bonding, and knowing that I was nourishing my daughter.  There were lots of tears; I was stressed beyond belief.  But I was determined to go forward.  I just wasn't quite sure how.  But somewhat haphazardly, I found my way.  It took a good 9 or 10 weeks, but Eleanor and I finally figured it out, and it's now hard for me to think back to how hard it actually was.

 With all that out of the way, I'd like the rest of my post to be about what worked for me, what I'd encourage others to do, and advice I have for those who'd like to breastfeed.

1. Get support. 
 For some women, breastfeeding comes naturally.  For others, the process is far more difficult. Regardless of your experiences, it's always nice to have someone to talk to.  For me, I found that my best allies were my friends who recently had babies and La Leche League.  When I realized that breastfeeding would be a far more difficult road then I had realized, I contacted friends who were recent breastfeeders or who had recently tried breastfeeding.  Hearing their stories, struggles, and input was invaluable.  It was nice to know that I wasn't alone.
But above and beyond, La Leche League was the best resource I found.  La Leche League is an international breastfeeding support group.  I had heard about it before, but with negative connotations (mainly, that LLL women were "crazy" and "extremist.") But after some unsuccessful trips to breastfeeding support groups and with some encouragement from my midwives, I decided to call my local LLL leaders.  One leader, whose youngest daughter was only a few weeks older than Eleanor, spent countless hours on the phone with me, and another leader came to my home twice to check my latch.  ("It's perfect!" she exclaimed. "We just need to boost your confidence!")  I began attending meetings, which are always held in someone's home.  It was nice to be in a cozy, intimate setting; there was just something so welcoming about sitting around a living room, sharing your struggles, triumphs, and ideas.  I've met mothers there who supplement with formula and mothers who are extended breastfeeders, and I realized that there are ways to make breastfeeding fit into your child rearing.  Ultimately, I found a group of supportive, kind hearted women who want to see me succeed in my own breastfeeding goals.
My recommendation -- check out free breastfeeding support services before paying for a lactation consultant and go from there.  La Leche League is a wonderful resource -- I can't recommend it enough.  (I'm not saying all lactation consultants are bad; I'm sure there are fabulous ones out there, and I do know people who have had great experiences with LCs.  I think I was just pretty unlucky in who I selected.  Nevertheless, I still think it's fruitful to explore free options before shelling out money.)

2. Get a second opinion.
Eleanor wasn't a huge weight-gainer in utero, and no matter how much food I stuffed into her (per request of my pediatrician), she never gained more than three-quarters of an ounce a day.  Other than her weight, she was surpassing all her developmental milestones and was as healthy as could be.  But my pediatrician deemed it inadequate and refused to see Eleanor for who she is -- a petite kid.  Eleanor and I were constantly in her office for weight checks, and the tension and stress I felt was unbearable.  I was paranoid about her weight and constantly second guessing myself.  My final straw was when my pediatrician told me I needed to make Eleanor eat so much food that she would vomit after every meal so she could expand her stomach.  I was infuriated.  It finally dawned on me that I didn't need to stay with a pediatrician who simply wasn't working with me.  So, I interviewed other pediatricians who all informed me that her weight gain was normal, and I finally settled on one.  Together, we realized that Eleanor was gaining weight along the standard curve, albeit at one of the lowest percentiles.  And since she was thriving in all other aspects, her weight has been a non-issue.  Through this experience, I've realized that babies come in all shapes and sizes.  There is no norm.  My child just happens to be little and that's perfectly okay.  I also trust my current pediatrician and respect her opinion, which is important.  With all this, I learned to listen to my gut and to seek the best possible care for my child without blindly listening to someone simply because he or she was a professional.

3. How you choose to feed your baby is a personal decision.
Some women breastfeed, some formula feed, some do a mixture of both.  How you choose to feed your child can be a difficult, highly-charged issue that is ultimately up to the mother.  I highly respect any woman who's made informed decisions of how to feed their child in a way that best fits both mother and baby.  While I do believe that more women would breastfeed if they had the right support system, it's up to the individual to feed their child as they see fit.  Plain and simple.

4. If you know someone who is breastfeeding, listen and offer support. 
 Perhaps the worst thing said to me in my early struggles with breastfeeding was "why aren't you just giving her formula?"  Each time I heard this, it felt like a slap in the face.  Going back to my third point, I felt like those in my life who wanted me to give Eleanor formula wouldn't acknowledge the fact that I wanted to breastfeed because it was important to me.  Breastfeeding Eleanor was my decision.  While I don't think these comments were meant to be harmful, they were difficult to hear, and they made me feel isolated and frustrated.  So if you know someone who is struggling with breastfeeding, listen to what she has to say.  A simple "you can do it!" goes a long way.  Ask if there's anything you can do to help.  Suggest she contact her OB/midwife or La Leche League International for additional resources and support.  Remind her she's doing a great job as a mom.  Such positive reinforcement makes a difference.

5.  Breastfeeding is natural... sort of.  
In those first few weeks, breastfeeding was anything but natural.  I was sore and in constant pain.  I was anxious about latching Eleanor and feeding her.  The "breast is best!" slogans I kept on seeing (what seemed like) everywhere annoyed me.  When I finally called my La Leche League Leader, she came over to check my latch.  As I tried to position Eleanor, my leader stopped me and had me close my eyes, put my head back, and breathe.  She placed Eleanor on my chest, and voila!  Eleanor found her way and latched on.  It was so simple, so easy, that I couldn't believe that I had paid someone to teach me a latch technique.  And then I got thinking.  While breastfeeding was nerve wracking and stressful on my end, Eleanor clearly knew what to do.  Had my desire to hire a lactation consultant interfered with her instinct and mine?  In my desire to do it "right," have I gotten in our own way?  Babies have been breastfed far longer than the advent of formula, and obviously it works.  While there are exceptions and unforeseen problems, breastfeeding is natural, even if it doesn't always feel that way.

So, for those mothers out there struggling with breastfeeding: I promise it does get easier.  You are not a failure if you can't figure it out on your own.  And no matter how you choose to feed your baby, your baby will be just fine.  And remember, you're doing a great job.

My happy little lady -- five months old!

The "Hart" of CRCF

Check out the article I wrote about Bethany Hart, former Olympian turned CrossFitter.  She is definitely taking the CrossFit world by storm!  You can find the original article here.

The "Hart" of CRCF

When two-time All-American hammer thrower and former bobsled Olympian Bethany Hart retired from competition in 2008 and 2010 respectively, she longed to find a new athletic outlet.  An injury to her Achilles had forced Bethany to retire early from bobsledding, and it took her a long time to adjust to her new life outside the elite athletic realm.  “It was a rough couple of years trying to fill the void that was left behind.  You live, eat, breathe, and sleep your sport, so when it’s gone, it feels like half of your life is missing.  It’s hard to find something to replace that feeling.”

After watching the CrossFit Games on ESPN last summer, Bethany was intrigued.  The athletes she saw were fit, healthy, and strong, and the workouts were appealing.  Yet Bethany hesitated; she was afraid she might aggravate her Achilles and a low back injury she suffered in 2006.   When she finally decided to join Charles River CrossFit last October, she initially modified her CrossFit WODs to focus on technique and improve her endurance while taking precautions to protect her Achilles and low back.  Even though the strength component of CrossFit is similar to her Olympic training, CrossFit was an adjustment for Bethany, who had to get used to the conditioning aspect of WODs.   Bobsled and hammer throw are fast, intense sports that require power and short bursts of energy, but provide time for full recovery. “To come to CrossFit and do your Olympic lifts with your conditioning was a completely different world for me.  I remember thinking; ‘we have to do what for 20 minutes?’  But I’m getting accustomed to it. I surprise myself in some of these workouts and have [handled] conditioning better than I thought, but it has definitely been an adjustment.  It’s a misnomer that Olympians are good at everything.  I was built for throwing hammers and pushing bobsleds.”  But even with the changes that came along with a new sport, CrossFit has been a great fit for Bethany.  She placed 18^th in North East CrossFit Opens and fifth at the North East Regionals, where she took first place in the Snatch Ladder Workout by snatching 150 pounds.

CrossFit has provided Bethany with the athletic outlet she had been searching for. “After retirement, I needed a change of pace.”  For Bethany, competing in the Opens and Regionals was an “awesome" experience, which “allowed me to feel like the athlete I used to be.”  Mostly, though, Bethany is simply enjoying CrossFit.  With its constantly evolving WODs, varied programming, and supportive community, CrossFit has opened “a whole new world for me to push myself and compete in.  It’s been a lot of fun.”  In the fall, Bethany will compete in local competitions and train for the 2013 Opens.

Safety Update

After reading this, I've officially retired our Bumbo.  What else can I use to occupy my little Peanut while cooking?

Primal Quiche

All week, my husband has been craving quiche.   In fact, he mentioned his desire to eat quiche multiple times each day.  Begrudgingly, I decided to take the hint.  I've never been much of a quiche eater, and post-baby, I've started to kick my paleo/primal eating into high gear (more on that in a future post).  So the thought of making and eating quiche did not settle well with me; in fact, I couldn't cook something that would sabotage my recharged food efforts.  At the same time, it gave me a new food challenge, and I decided there had to be a way to make it a bit more paleo friendly.
A lot of recipes I found were for crustless quiche, but to me, that seemed to take all the fun out of eating quiche.  Then I discovered this recipe for paleo quiche.  The recipe is written in a blog format with a video, but here's the gist:

For the crust:
1 cup almond meal
1 large egg (mine was from a local farm)
1/4 cup grated parmesan  (I bought mine aged at a local market and grated it myself.  I also had to hold Eleanor while grating it, so I think I ended up with almost 1/3 cup).  I know that cheese isn't really paleo, but trust me, the parmesan is worth it.

Mix ingredients together until it forms a paste.  Grab a pie tin and grease it.  I used local butter, but I'm guessing you could substitute coconut oil.  It didn't take much, so you can use it sparingly.

Press crust mix into pan; spread out with fingers.

Bake crust at 375 for 10-15 minutes until the edges brown.

For the actual quiche, put everything else you want in the crust before the eggs.  For our quiche, I quickly sauteed some broccoli and shallots and mixed them with some really delicious cheddar cheese and diced ham steak.  Okay, I've been mostly kicking my cheese habit, but I decided to have a cheat with some great aged cheddar.  But really, you could put in anything you wish to eat in the quiche -- mushrooms, peppers, onions, eggplant, chicken, steak, and so forth.  Use your imagination.

Then I scrambled five large eggs.  You can add a tablespoon or two of cream or whole milk to the egg mixture, but because I had cheese, I opted not to.  I also added a pinch of salt, but feel free to be more creative with other herbs or spices.  Pour egg mixture into the pie pan over the other food and bake at 375 for about 20 minutes, until the center is firm.

The quiche was a hit, and my husband said the crust was delicious.  I thought it was pretty awesome too.

Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture of said delicious quiche, but I did capture many adorable photos of Eleanor, who kept herself busy while I was cooking (part of the time).

I have no idea why my pretty little lady insists on sitting sideways in her Bumbo, but she loves it.  She must know it terrifies me.

It was nice to make a meal other than grilled meat and veggies for dinner, and overall, it was an easy effort.  Plus, it was a great excuse to have coffee with dinner!

Enjoy!

Blog is back!

My apologies for my long absence from this blog.  I can't believe that I now have a busy, adorable four month old on my hands.  Eleanor is a pretty amazing kid and I adore her to pieces.
Looking back, the past four months have been an utter whirlwind.  It's hard to know exactly what to write about.  Each day has offered new challenges and new insights, but I now feel ready to share my observations over the past few months and the new balancing act that comes along with such a momentous life change.  Over the next few weeks, I will be blogging about my post-partum CrossFit experience, share articles and recipes of interest, and ultimately my insights on my new "simple challenge" of motherhood.  While it has certainly been an interesting ride, I am one very lucky momma to have such an amazing daughter.  Isn't she darling?

Is there a topic you'd like me to blog about?  While I have several ideas for new posts, I'd love to hear from you!

Things I'm learning... Part 1

A quick blog post before Miss Eleanor wakes up of things I'm learning as a new mom:

The baby dictates labor and delivery.  I had lots of fantasies about a natural birth; how I'd wake up with contractions in the middle of the night; how I'd do much of my early labor at home; how I'd labor in the jacuzzi at the hospital and walk the hospital floors.  None of that happened because of the medical attention I needed during my labor because of the baby, and I'm grateful I was able to have a vaginal delivery, as I was almost brought to the OR for an emergency C-section.  I always thought I could have a natural delivery because I was strong enough to handle it -- it never once occurred to me that labor wouldn't go according to my plans because of my child.

Recovery from labor is hard.  Everyone focused on the difficulties of labor; no one talks about the recovery process.  You're sore.  You're tired.  You have crazy hormones.  Thankfully it doesn't last forever, but in my mind, I thought I'd have a lot more energy after labor.  It doesn't work that way.  Thankfully, I got a cute baby out of the process.

If you plan on breastfeeding, get a lactation consultant.  I'm lucky; Eleanor has a great latch and a great suck, but that didn't mean I was breastfeeding correctly in a painless position.  She also gets sleepy, and keeping her invested in the breastfeeding process is difficult, at best.  She'd also happily suck without eating if I let her.  I found the hospital lactation consultants to be lackluster, and found one to be slightly judgmental.  So, I contacted a private lactation consultant who has come to my house twice and who encourages me to call her every day with questions and to update her on what is going on.  I've learned that it's a process to figure out how to breastfeed.  I thought after one consult, I'd know it all and be done.  That certainly hasn't been the case.  Breastfeeding is wonderful and lovely, but it takes a lot of time, energy, and effort.  Having the extra support is essential, and if I didn't have it, I'm sure I'd be exclusively formula feeding by now.

I shouldn't have mommyhood figured out yet.  I really thought that after three weeks home, I'd have a lot more of this parenting "thing" under my belt, especially the breastfeeding piece.  But I'm still learning about my daughter and what she needs, and every day, something changes and is different.  And I'm slowly learning that that's okay.  I'm also learning to ask people for help when I need it.

I don't always want visitors.  Please don't be offended if I ask you to wait before coming over to visit. I'm tired, and I'm figuring out how to feed and take care of my child while trying to remember to brush my teeth and eat, and visitors can feel like a lot of work.  Even if a visitor doesn't feel this way, I will feel like I have to entertain said visitor.  Having someone to come over and hold Eleanor for four hours isn't helpful to me (although I understand why someone would want to hold her!)  Know that I want you to meet and love my child, but I also need some space.  Although if a visitor wants to watch her so I can take a shower and a nap before her next feeding guilt-free, I won't deny that!

It's amazing how much you can love such a little person.  Eleanor is perfect.  I guess I'm biased, but it's absolutely overwhelming how much I love her to pieces.  She's a beautiful child who makes me laugh with her sighs and silly faces.  There's nothing more wonderful in this world than snuggling with her, holding her, kissing her, and dancing around the house with her.  I have to admit, I was nervous about how I'd feel making the transition to a mother.  It's been surprisingly natural, lovely, and joyous.  She's an amazing little person, and I'm totally smitten and in awe of her.